Casey’s response to Blake’s tantrum plays a critical role in teaching him emotional regulation.
A calm, empathetic approach can guide the child toward better coping mechanisms, while a dismissive or punitive reaction can hinder their ability to manage emotions in the future.
Most parents and caregivers that have dealt with tantrums know that staying calm is easier said than done. So what can you do to help yourself in the moment?
“Beware of thinking the child is doing it on purpose or trying to upset you. Children don’t have tantrums deliberately. They’re stuck in a bad habit or don’t have the skills right now to cope with the situation.”
Eric, sitter
“Accept that you can’t control the child’s emotions or behavior directly. You can only keep them safe and guide their behavior so tantrums are less likely to happen in the future.”
Roz, nanny
Keeping Things In Perspective:
Caregivers share their advice on how they remain calm during a tantrum.
“If other people give you dirty looks, ignore them. Your first job is to ensure the child is safe. Furthermore is to deal with the tantrum.”
Ming-Na, sitter
“Have a “calm-down” plan in place, such as offering the child a quiet space or a pile of pillows and blankets to curl up into.”
Ramona, sitter
“Always ask yourself ‘is this hunger talking?’ My experience is that 90% of the time a snack will ease the situation.”
Olivia, nanny
“Focus on the behavior you want to model rather than the chaos of the moment”
Jayla, sitter
Casey knows her response to Blake is critical because it models emotional regulation.
By responding calmly and validating his feelings, she's helping him understand that emotions are manageable and not shameful, fostering long-term emotional resilience.
Your Response Matters
Be Kind to Yourself
When caring for children, much of you’re physical and mental energy is spent on another person. And while it’s easy to say “make sure your cup is full”, a day caring for someone else can be a long day without time to fill your cup.
Be kind to yourself. Things don’t always go to plan and tantrums will happen, even to the most prepared caregiver. If the child is not hurting themselves or near danger, you can step out of the room to take a breath and recompose.
Think back to your own experience as a child when an adult responded to in a time of sadness or frustration. Taking into account what you’ve learned in this course, how would you respond to yourself as a child? How can you be the person you needed?